US News: 8 ways to be a better parent

We encourage you to read the entire article here but here are brief summary of each parental transgression and how to deal with it.

1. Parents fail at setting limits
Parents must set limits for their children. " Not having limits has been proven to make children more defiant and rebellious, because they feel unsafe and push to see if parents will respond." Set rules and limits then be consistent in their enforcement.

2. They're overprotective
"Many well-meaning parents jump in too quickly," says Robert Brooks, a clinical psychologist in Needham, Mass., and coauthor of Raising Resilient Children. "Resilient children realize that sometimes they will fail, make mistakes, have setbacks. They will attempt to learn from them." When parents intercede, Brooks says, "it communicates to the kid that 'I don't think you're capable of dealing with it.' We have to let kids experience the consequences of their behaviour."

3. They nag. Lecture. Repeat. Then yell
Evidence has shown that constant nagging can in fact be counter productive, not to mention it provides attention for negative behaviour which is not a good practice. One recommendation the article gives is to establish a rewards system for positive behaviour.

4. They praise too much—And badly
Much in the same way that too much negative attention loses it's potency, so does positive attention. Many well meaning parents misuse the powerful tool of praise. The article recommends giving less generic praise such as "you're special" and using specific sincere praise as a reward.

5. They punish too harshly
Harsh punishments can often have the opposite effect that they are intended to have. Milder actions can create better results. For instance, "Teenagers who have outgrown timeouts shouldn't lose a privilege for more than a day. Beyond that, the child's attitude shifts from regretting bad behavior to resenting the parent."

6. They tell their child how to feel
Parents, by telling children "you're fine" or "don't cry," deny children the chance to learn lessons [like empathy and understanding other's feelings] "The child learns empathy through being empathized with." Try something like, "We're so sorry, we know how it feels"

7. They put grades and SATs ahead of creativity
"An overemphasis on good grades can also distort the message about how and what children should learn. "We like kids to learn rules, and we want them to learn facts," says Greenspan. "We're impressed when they can read early or identify their shapes. It's much harder for us to inspire them to come up with a creative idea."
"Parents can help their children become independent thinkers by asking open-ended questions like: Can you think of another way to solve the problem with your teammate? Or ask a whining preschooler: Can you think of a different way to tell me what you want?"

8. They forget to have fun
Health families can laugh together and have fun. Little signs of love and connection can have a huge impact in a child's life.