Creating a Divorce Log

Staying organised isn't a simple task. Lots of people have trouble just keeping a bedroom tidy, but for many who are going through larger life challenges, maintaining a clean bedroom is the least of their worries. Parents who are going through a divorce face emotional, legal, and logistical challenges that effect not only their lives, but those of their children as well. Through all of this, keeping an organised log of all kinds of information relating to all aspects of the divorce will be a useful resource. A divorce log of not only divorce-related information (such as a schedule of related appointments or a record of correspondence with your co-parent), but also parenting-related information (such as your parenting schedule or a log of parenting-related expenses) will help to calm feelings of stress and give you a better sense of control over your life. 

A divorce can come as a real shock to the system if it wasn't seen coming. When it does happen, it will be in your favour to try and organise all of the information you have that pertains to your situation. Create a schedule log that contains information about any important upcoming appointments like mediation, attorney consultations and court dates. It is imperative that you do not miss any of your divorce-related appointments as to show how seriously you are taking the situation at hand. While maintaining a log of important upcoming dates, also think back to the past. Keep a pre-divorce log of events that took place in the past which you think could be pertinent to your case. In your log, record these dates and write descriptions of what you recall. If you have other material that supports your recollections, such as emails or text messages, put those details into your log as well. Share this information with your attorney so that they may advise you on whether the information could be useful in your divorce case. 

Correspondence with your co-parent during or after a divorce can sometimes feel hostile. When you're using multiple mediums for communication, it often becomes hard to search through hundreds of bits of correspondence when you're just looking for one thing. Once the decision to get divorced has been made, isolate communication with your co-parent to one medium as to make it easier to keep an ongoing log of your communication. Make sure the communication platform you choose is secure and neutral, in that one person doesn't have more access or control over the communication log than the other. Also make sure that you can easily retrieve information from this log or share it with your attorney. In a situation where your attorney is asking for information regarding correspondence with your co-parent, you'll not want to keep your attorney waiting to receive what they need in order to help move your case forward.

As a parent, your divorce log will not be complete without devoting a large section of it to information related to your kids. Keep a log of parenting time details including where your children will spend their nights, events they are attending, important dates in school, holidays, and more. Also make sure to log information on dates that certain events occurred and you'd like to remember, such as if your child was in the school play or if they twisted their ankle at the park. Along with this kind of information, log what you observe when your child comes back to your home after spending time with their other parent, especially if what you observed is concerning to you. If your child is displaying a pattern of concerning behaviour, this may be information that you could discuss with your co-parent, or share with your attorney or therapist. 

Logging parenting dates after divorce is important, but also maintaining a log of parenting-related expenses could prove to be indispensable. Being divorced with children isn't cheap, especially with shared medical costs and child support. Keep track of all that you spend on your kids which could be considered a shared cost between you and your co-parent. Keeping your own personal register of expenses is useful, but also using a shared expense management tool with your co-parent can save you both time and hassle. A shared log of expenses helps keep both parents on the same page about spending and shared costs, and it allows parents to talk about spending as it happens instead of waiting for the bills to come in later. Digging through receipts and bank statements long after the spending took place can truly become a nightmare, so keeping your expense log as up-to-date as possible saves you from this hassle later on. Update your shared expense log with details about what you paid for, when you paid, how much of the total you are responsible for, and all related receipts and documents.  A shared log of expenses allows both parents to better see how much is being spent by each parent, to plan ahead for reimbursing each other, and to know which shared expenses have already been rectified. Even better, an expense management tool which also allows for payments and reimbursements to be sent electronically between parents can eliminate the risky step of having to mail checks or sharing secure banking information. Whatever way you and your co-parent go about maintaining shared expenses, keep your log current and protect yourself by using a secure method to record this information. 

Living an organised life after divorce is entirely possible, though it does take some proactivity on your part. Keep a log information pertinent to your divorce case as well as information related to your children and your parenting time arrangement. Don't disregard the importance of maintaining a thorough divorce log, as it will be useful on so many levels. Getting information down now will ease stress and make you feel more in control of life.